chepibola:

when my mum scolds me

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amorphinetoast:

The year is 2052 and Hannibal is in his death bed. He motions Crawford to come closer. He whispers: “I’m the Chesapeake Ripper…”
He passes on.
Crawford cries a single tear. He says: “He was the greatest Cheese Cake Flipper I ever knew…”

assbutt-wizard-in-the-tardis:

I’m not even in this fandom, but hearing this made me feel so much better about life

sorayachemaly:

Earlier this week a man in a car pulled up next to a 14-year old girl on a street in Florida and offered to pay her $200 to have sex with him. Some people would say that’s a compliment. It’s part of being out in society, learning to deal with people, navigating relationships…

latteinparis:

thedevilswaiting:

The original story of the little mermaid is that she must kill the prince in order to be human, and in the end, she loves him too much and kills herself instead.

The artwork is too great not to reblog. 

Ok, ok - important expansion: she only has to kill the Prince because the deal was if he fell in love with her she could be human forever, and he didn’t. By which I mean, he was a good person and genuinely nice to her, but he didn’t fall in love. He fell in love with someone else, also perfectly nice - not the seawitch in disguise, fu Disney. The Mermaid is told she can only return to the sea now if she kills the Prince. She goes into the room where he and his lover lie sleeping and they look so beautiful and happy together that she can’t do it.

That’s why she kills herself. And because it was a noble act she returns to sea as foam.

One moral of the story was that women shouldn’t fundamentally change who they are for love of a man, and in theory Han Christian Anderson wrote it for a ballerina with whom he fell in love. She was marrying someone else who wouldn’t let her dance.

Holy shit

Well shit man

ijustsneeze:

Am I the only one who gets kind of upset that Tumblr seems to care more about Nash Grier saying stupid shit than a civillian airplane most likely being shot with a missile and Israel basically invading Gaza? Maybe it’s because I’m Dutch and a lot of Dutch people died on that plane but it really just bothers me how selective Tumblr seems to be with what they freak out about.

the-ackerman-queen:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

Domino’s

koroke:

i feel so powerful


584,101 plays

swagpancake:

my sister wrote a paragraph about naruto back when she was in second grade and the teacher called my mom up to the school because my little sister misspelled a word and i memorized the entire thing when she brought it home

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I CNAT BRETHA